Hmm

yeah, well i really have no excuse this time. my mom yelled at me for not posting for a while, so i guess it's really back to the drawing board haha. i haven't been too busy, just trying to get through the last few months out here. i think that the first few months out here i just had to figure out what the heck was going on out here. now that i've moved a few times, and that i'm finally with my detachment for a few months; i've been feeling a ton better. some days are harder than others, that's for sure.

have you ever woken up in the morning and not known where you were for a few seconds? well that kinda happens to me sometimes. except, it's not that i forget where i am (impossible), it's that i just wake up and pray that one day i don't have to wake up here the next day. it's not that i don't believe in what i'm doing, or that i'm not 100% behind this mission; it's just sometimes i would do anything to wake up next to the man that i love. sometimes i would give anything to wake up back at home in chicago; to be able to just get in my car and drive wherever i want. it's just sometimes when you're fighting for freedom, you just end up missing it. i have really fallen in love with the iraqi people (that i know), and really believe that we can make this a better place; i see everyday the good we do for them, and the freedoms they have that they would never have had before. it really makes me excited to feel that again. this place really does teach you; war teaches you, and i really think that life in general was meant to teach you. you spend your entire life learning who you are, and sometimes, i think, taking a step back and learning what your real meaning is, is also really important. you can be any kind of person in this world, good, bad, somewhere in between, but i don't think that changes what the meaning of your life is, or what purpose you were meant to fufill. hell, anyone of us could kick the bucket tomorrow. i guess i'm really learning to ask the question: if i did, what did my life have to show for it? hmm..

on a happier note. i am coming home on R&R. if you want the dates i will be home e-mail me, and i'll let you know. love ya all. no matter who you are.